Last night I came to a realization. When I did my nightly prayer, stretching, and meditation, I realized that I had felt different. My spirit felt different. My body felt different. I had come to the realization that this was the first time in a long time where my heart felt empty. But this emptiness was not a bad thing. I guess “empty” is not the best word for it…
A better word for it would be to say that my heart felt cleansed. I realized that this was the first time in a long time that I was not holding on to any pain, any resentment, any feelings of hurt, or any feelings of regret from anyone of my past. Not no ex or no one I was simply involved with.
Before, I would always think about if there was something I could have done better or if I should have said something different or whatever the case may be. But lately, I have been learning to accept everything that has happened in all of my past. I have come to the realization that in every situation that I have been involved in, I am always honest and genuine. Just because things do not always work in my favor does not mean that I should hold on to any negative emotion regarding it because I was very pure in my intentions with people.
If you know me, you know I am “doubling back”, lol. And that’s because I felt like there was always some type of regret or closure that I needed to get. But not anymore, I don’t have a desire for nothing or no one of my past. I have completely healed and moved on from everyone.
Yes, I now realize that my heart is cleansed. And I now realize that this is because I have focused on loving myself more and accepting my actions and other’s actions as well. I can truly say that since I have been focusing on myself and my healing, that is what exactly has been happening. And with my heart feeling cleansed, I have opened up more room for something greater to come. Something that is genuine. Something where I don’t have to worry about my past coming back to haunt me.
I’m excited for this new me and what is to come.
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