So we just had a full moon over the night of October 9th, and let me tell you that this full moon energy was very different for me… Usually, I have a hard time during the approach, rise, and fade of the full moon. Normally, I am unable to sleep, I feel restless at night but sleep heavily during the day. Honestly, in the past, full moons have always been the worst for me.
But not this time. This time, the energy from the moon felt different. A lot has changed in my life over the past 30 days and I have been working extremely hard to remove toxic people who add no value to my life spiritually, mentally, and physically. I have LITERALLY released and let go of all of the dead weight from the people of my past that I have carried with me (regrets, resentment, anger, etc.). And most importantly, I have been focused on getting myself together spiritually and emotionally. I have been doing a lot of shadow work and have been focusing heavily on grounding myself.
I have introduced daily prayer, stretching, and meditation into my life so that it is a routine and not an act of desperation when I am feeling lost, down, or confused. I have gotten back into dancing more, which always helps me express my feminine energy.
Listen, I have done a lot of work to improve myself and my well-being. And the universe has definitely been showing me that my efforts have not gone unnoticed. I have been seeing more spiritual signs that lets me now that I am on the right path as well and it honestly feels amazing. It’s like the more control that I have released and the more trust I have put into the universe, the more I feel that I feel that I am on the right track.
Anyways, let me tell you about my spiritual revelation that I had over this full moon. There are a lot of rituals and meditation practices that people practice over the full moon. It gives you the opportunity for heightened manifestation and healing. Well this time, I told myself that I would focus more on these practices under this full moon.
So, what I did was use my journal and a pencil (an actual pencil) was recommended to me when practicing manifestation and I wrote prompts about how I want to love myself more, about what the new me was going to do from this moment forward, and what I was accepting on this course of my life. I wont get into too much detail about my responses, but what I did discuss was about how I was going to set more boundaries for myself and abide by those boundaries when it comes to how much love and energy I give to others. In the past, I have given too much of myself to people who were undeserving and I refuse to do so a moment longer. I talked about how the new me was going to love myself more and to not be afraid to show and release my feminine energy…. In the past, I have never been able to show that side of me to others because of me being hurt in the past by others. Thus, I always have my wall up and guarded when it comes to showing that feminine side of me. Not any more. From here on out, I won’t be afraid to speak my truest thoughts and feelings to others. Now, it may take time for me to figure out how to express those feelings, but I won’t hide or run from those feelings a moment longer. I also focused on manifesting only have genuine love and encounters in my life from partners. I focused on manifesting a partner who truly adores and cherishes me.... I accept and embrace this new journey of life that is before me and I let go all of my past. To come to this level of understanding has been AMAZING and it truly feels good to be able to manifest these things in my life for me moving forward.
Another aspect that was important to me that I wanted to focus on under the moon was that I wanted to rediscover my purpose. In this past year, so much has happened to me that has hurt me or has taken away from me. This past year, I lost sight of my purpose. And it made me feel numb, worthless, and hollow. I was a hollow man (Great Gatsby reference, if you know you know).
But lately, I have been feeling like I need to focus on rediscovering my purpose. For the past couple of months I have been just living each day as its own and I have been too hurt and scared to focus on my future. And it is honestly because I’m scared for my future to get ripped away from me like it did before. But last night helped me realize that I needed to overcome this mental block that has been in my head and stop moving out of fear.
Last night, while in my meditation, I spoke and listened to my truest thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and I realized that I wanted to get back into what I was setting my sights on before all of the trauma and negative experiences. At first, I thought that my bad experience happened to me because I was not on the right path and that I needed to let those dreams go. But now I realize that this was not the case, this was simply a road block. It was fear that I instilled in myself. And last night, I made a declaration to release all of my fears, doubts, worries.
I am coming into my season. I am coming into myself. This new me will be an act of divination and I am truly Excited.
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