Ascension

Today I felt the need to go to a park, to be in a space of nature. I felt like I needed to cry. For everything and no reason at all. But the most unexpected aspect of this feeling that I notice is that the main emotion that draws out the most tears is the feeling of LOVE. The more specific feeling that I feel is gratefulness. The feeling that I have is honestly, indescribable. It feels like a culmination of all emotions put together: happiness, sadness, grief, frustration, joy, euphoria, inspiration, courage. Anger. Freedom.

No emotion outweighs the other. But love. I realize that I feel love because I am so grateful. I’m grateful for my strength. I’ve had good times, but I’ve also had dark and lonely times. But I’m grateful to have the courage and the resilience to persevere and keep going.

I’m grateful for my mind. My mindset has helped me in pursuing my education and obtaining my degrees. My mindset has taught me when to party and when to get focused. My mindset has taught me to pick my head up and stand tall when I need to and when to lower my head so that I can take a moment to reflect and simply breathe when I need to.

I’m grateful for my heart. My heart has taught me to be selfless. It has taught me to give. It has allowed me give my all in every relationship, whether intimate or platonic. It has also taught me to love myself more than anyone. My heart has taught me to be selfish when I need to. My heart has taught me to learn lessons, to compromise, and to set boundaries when appropriate. Without my heart, I wouldn’t be the passionate and fiery soul that I am. And my passion is what drives me. It’s what motivates me to see the art and beauty in everyone, and everything. My heart has taught me compassion. With compassion comes detachment. With detachment comes acceptance.

I’m so grateful for the people in my life. The people that I get to call my Tribe. Whether they realize it or not, they have provided me so much love and support over these past two years. I would not be where I am without them. They have all played a tremendous role in my evolution. And for that, I love them forever and unconditionally.

I’m at a point in my life where I can feel that a shift, a change, is approaching. I feel ascension approaching. And as I embark this next phase of my life’s journey, I am grateful for every past pleasure, pain, lesson and accomplishment that I have faced and conquered. This next phase of my life calls me to level up. To mature as a woman, as a mother, as lover, and as a friend. As I take off the crown that I am currently wearing, its beautiful, but it’s tired. It’s a little worn and weary. As I center this new crown on my head, I see the new journey that awaits me. And I can’t wait to embrace it all.