Just Relax

I have to learn to RELAX. As soon as I get some inkling of something, I let my imagination and my thoughts run wild. It's literally like having an angel and devil on my shoulders, constantly speaking to my subconscious. I go over every possible outcome and scenario in my mind and how I am supposed to respond. But honestly, it's exhausting. 

I don't want to to that anymore. Every scenario I formulate in my mind is based on my past, my fears, even my hopes. They are based on my perspective. And I've learned to heed caution to how we react on things that are based on our perspective. This reaction is what we call expectation. And we all know that once we you set an expectation on something, you set yourself up for failure. 

We mostly place expectations on things that are out of our control. And I want to do differently. No more moving off my past. I want to focus on what I want to do moving forward. 

I've come to realize that a lot of my inner thoughts are fear-based. And I'm not moving off of fear or hurt anymore. The other side to this is that I am no longer moving off of hope either, or expectation, I should say. The only thing that I am learning to learning to move off of is God and fate. What is meant to be will work itself out to be what is mean to in fact be.

There is this man that I am dealing with,  Charlie. I love this man to death. There isn't enough depth to these words that could grasp the unconditional love and respect that I have for him. But part of unconditionally loving someone is giving someone space and time to sort through things when they need to when they have something weighing on them. I know that Charlie is going through something right now, and although he has not confided in me about what's going on, I know it's there. Now, the fear in me is so scared to get hurt by this man. But, instead of festering on those possibilities where I end up hurt, I am going to trust Charlie's character. The light in his soul will ALWAYS outweigh the "negative" (and I put negative in quotes because good/bad is subjective). At the end of the day, I can't control Charlie. I can only choose to trust and love his soul. Not his flesh. Moving with this thought changes the direction of my thinking to give him the space and time that he needs to work through what he needs to work through. The other side to this, that I think challenges a lot of people, is that you have to let them trust your soul as well. This man knows how much I love and adore him. I have faith that he knows that he open up to me when he truly feel like he needs to. We have grown to become a safe space to each other when we need to be. And that's what love is about. Loving someone for them and what they need, not what you need. At least, that's the purest and most selfless love, in my opinion. 

So, I trust that things will fall into alignment as things are destined. And the only way I want to actually control this fate is by focusing on what I can control, growing and developing myself as a woman. So much to do! So little time. Time to get in the Right Mind. ✨