Do NOT Disturb

I don’t have any interest in being hurt by a single person any more. Not by men, not by friends, not by family. No one. I do not have neither time nor energy in investing in those who do not invest in me. I’m so tired of dealing with false energy and those who are not able to speak their true intentions. I honestly would rather be left alone. Completely alone. 

Everyday I get a new nigga in my inbox trying to hit me up and I choose to ignore them. One guy has even messaged me and called me a “stuck up bitch” because I have never responded to not one of his messages. Stuck up bitch??? Really???!!! Like first of all, you don’t even know me. You don’t even wanna get to know me. Like let’s be real! All you see is a nice picture on my facebook story with some good music and you allow your mind to wonder from there. You drew your own fantasy of me and you’ve come up with your own concoction in your head about what I look like, sound like, and how much I would be a benefit for you. And you only based this off that fact that I was PRETTY!!! Fucking pretty!!??? That’s it!? Like how many “pretty” females have you come across and decided to concoct your own fairy tale image of a female? I mean no more to you than the next “pretty” female whose story that you swipe next to right after mine. 

I have even had dudes inbox me like, “You’re gorgeous. I’m 36 with 3 kids. I work at blah blah blah and I’m looking for a female such as yourself who is beautiful, smart, classy, blah blah blah. I need this in a female and that in a female and BLAH BLAH BLAH”. Like NIGGA, you’re so busy boasting on yourself and your qualifications for your women of preference. But did you ever even THINK that you don’t qualify for my men of preference. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. But what do I do? Just leave the message unread.

OMG if there was a way to disable inboxes for thirsty men, I definitely would. I can’t stand it. Especially corny men. I fucking hate corny men. I could never be with a corny man. Not ever again. I was with one before and I absolutely fucking hated it. To think that I was submitting to a man who had no principle and had no ability to lead makes me sick to my stomach. I’m a be honest, I’m a lot braver than most men. I got more heart than them too. I’m a person of principle and character, and I stand on them. I will never allow a man to lead me who truly cannot lead. And that’s why I struggled so much in that past situation that I was in. Agree with me or not, I know who I am. I know my heart. So I really don’t care. 

I remember this one guy messaged me. He went to school with me but he was younger than me. I remembered him on the basketball team so I remembered his name. But outside of that I paid no attention to the man. We’ll call him Mr. Corny. Anyways, he ended up messaging me telling me how he always had a crush on me since high school and I was his number one crush for the longest, lmao. I engaged in small talk for a little bit (back then I was entertaining shit out of boredom- and I have learned NOT to even do that any more). One of my responses to his serenade was “What’s your zodiac sign?” See, I’m a believer in zodiac risings and moon signs and compatibilities. Believe what you want, but when I reflect on my past experiences with people based on zodiacs they have been so on point that it is scary. I don’t remember what his was but when he asked for mine in return I told him I was a Sagittarius. And he said, “I told myself after my ex I would never get back with a Sagittarius, but for you I’ll make an exception.” I asked him what happened with his ex. He said that she did him dirty. They were together for over 10 years (or some amount of time) and she did him dirty the entire time. She cheated on him. Soooooo, my response to him was, “So what if I told you I cheated on a person in my past relationship as well? Would you still make an exception?” And guess what this nigga told me?! “Well yes, I’m sure there was a good reason as to why you would cheat on him. So I don’t see a problem with it.” 

NO FUCKING PRINCIPLE WHAT SO EVER!!!!! 

Like really!? You really just gave in to me because you thought I was pretty and had a “Crush” on me instead of standing on your principle and learning from your past. What his dumb ass don’t even realize is that he was so fucking corny, if I had chosen to be with him, I probably would have cheated on his ass too just like his ex. LMAO. Like I said, I don’t do corny men. I have no respect for them. And I honestly don’t like to cheat on people because I know what it is like to be cheated on. So, I would rather just not deal with a corny person all together so that way no one’s time is wasted. 

But do you see what I mean? He painted this fantasy in his head of me and my personality. He bent his will and his principles to suit his fantasy. And that is a dangerous thing to do. For him, it should have been a red flag. But he altered his perspective in an instant of time to suit his desired outcome. And his desired outcome was not really to be with me or get to know me, not for me anyways. He wanted to fulfill his own fantasy of who I was.

This is something that we all do or at least have done before. I have been guilty of it before as well. And like I said, it is a dangerous game to play. You shift the smoke and mirrors so much to suit your idea. But when that smoke finally clears, you realize that this is not a person that you know at all, or that you even like. I have learned from my mistakes and for that reason I do not answer DM messages. I take my time to get to know someone fully and not from my own fantasies that I have of them. I no longer try to focus on what our future could be and I focus on the person who is in front of me before my eyes. We see our own potential of a person and we allow those visions to cloud our actions and judgment of people. 

That is something that I have no interest in doing any longer. So, please, if you have no interest in getting to know me (and I mean ALL of me), please do not disturb my peace. If you have no interest in genuinely being there for me, leave me the fuck alone. If you have no real intentions with me, stay the fuck away from me. The way my life is right now, I am in a Do Not Disturb state of mind.

You have been warned.